Deep Calling to Deep, Part 3 – The Wrestle

The current rhetoric around faith sector inclusion of the LGBT+ community is disappointing.

It seems we are still a way away from understanding how we might hold different theological views but disagree respectfully.

Following a conversation with a few others of a view that faith sector leaders, ministers in local churches, were entitled, or perhaps even Biblically justified in excluding LGBT+ community from inclusive worship in Churches, I wrote the following poem.

I wonder if in a position of privilege and inclusion, from the perspective of a majority, exclusion and the impact of exclusion, is really understood.

This poem is one small snapshot of how it feels.

To members of the LGBT+ community and our friends and supporters, I say this. Grieve yes, it’s inevitable and necessary; but please, please do not walk away. Do not permit exclusion to become an acceptable norm. Stand. Stand up, together, join the conversation and we just might challenge the preconceptions. We will need to model how to disagree responsibly, respectfully and with grace.

I hope this video of the rehearsal for the Greatest Showman might inspire you.

The wrestle, Father

 

How can I be chosen for this, if no one here will have me?

How can I sustain this path, when the cost required breaks me?

Where can I go from here when my doubt threatens to swamp me?

The threat of displeasing you, the look in the eye of the other as they regard me.

I would prefer to retreat, to hide and to run

To leave this place to You

I am not what you think

I’m not big

I’m not strong

There is little left to renew

Yet I trust you and I love you, like there is nothing else

I give it all for you.

 

It brings me back, head bent,

With shoulders in-turned

Lost and alone

But with You.

I despair, I lose hope

I tremble and I fear

But I hear your gentle voice

You call to my heart

Remind me of where we have been

And encourage me to rejoice

 

Rejoice as I weep?

Rejoice as I wish

There was another path out of here.

Rejoice as I stumble

And fall to my knees

And beseech yet again

Why me?

Why here?

 

I hear that it’s not possible

That I can’t belong

Because of all that I am

And have been

 

You tell me there is hope

There is beauty

And redemption

You play the strings laid in my heart

 

And so, I rise to my feet

Though I cannot lift my head

Cannot believe that You really mean me

 

As I rise I know that our journey has been precious

That it enables me to see

 

To see hope and restoration

In the hidden and the buried

In the places no one else will call home

 

To see future

To see purpose

To see the power of restoration

To know a place that you have crafted as Your own

 

I see radiance and enormity

Become a glimmer and a trickle

To small heart and souls that reach to You.

Souls that are hidden and abandoned

Buried beyond recognition

But treasured and embraced by You.

 

And so brokenly I travel

I journey by Your side

Resting and leaning as I go

 

Learning to discern, through the gift of your light

Where to travel

How to reach You

To come home

 

I recognise a preciousness

Buried in the forlorn

Who recognise the limitations of here and now

 

They recognise Your Kingdom

And grasp it with both hands

As they reach for you, from here, on the ground

 

There is envy from the wise

And the rich and the brave

Who subsequently notice Your call

They do not sacrifice, they do not  crawl

They worship and they praise

With eloquence and elegance above all.

 

You value the heartfelt

Those earnestly searching

You value the humanity they bring.

They expect little

Have less purpose

Are lost in Your glamour

 

You radiate

They absorb

And they sing.

 

So I praise You

Your compassion

Your commitment

And your care

That makes broken hearts new.

 

I trust in your purpose

Resting fully in prayer

And I stand to

Breathe in

Only You.

 

Andrea King